塞子

Shower的时候不小心踩到了浴缸的塞子，等到发现时，被堵住的洗澡水已经漫过了脚脖子，温温黏黏的很不舒服，于是连忙关上水笼头去拔塞子。随着塞子猛地抬起，水咕嘟咕嘟、咕嘟咕嘟地被水管囫囵吞下，仿佛狄俄尼索斯的昂头豪饮。顷刻间，浴缸已见了底，脚上粘嗒嗒的感觉也消失了，清清爽爽。

真是畅快淋漓的感觉。生活里乱七八糟的事太多，大的小的，好的坏的，满意的失望的，以前的将来的，自己的别人的，能说的不能说的……一点一点的，在心里积了一大堆，好像浴缸里的那么一大摊子水。看着浴缸里的水平线一点一点下降，忍不住苦笑着想，如果心里能有这么个塞子，这么个管子，把这些烦心事都通通冲下去就好了。

不过，只可惜我不相信有什么麻烦能通过逃避解决——即使是藏着也好，闷着也好，忍着也好，只要咬着牙面笑着对着，就一定有解决的一天，这是我的哲学。说起来，其实佛教和基督教都不是这么说的……所以我大概是六根不净，俗事太多，又没法把自己的问题全权交给上帝，所以才这么郁闷着自虐——纯粹是自找的。既然是自找的，就没啥可抱怨的，笑笑就扛起来吧，轻描淡写也比大张旗鼓强。我喜欢醉拳的歌词，尤其是那句“有万种的委屈我付之一笑”，只是用在自己身上有self-pity之嫌——我哪里来的“万种委屈”，不过庸人自扰罢了。

老爸说，“小时候你像个玻璃球似的，眼睛一转就知道你在想什么；可是现在怎么都看不出你在想什么了。”当然啊，我在长大嘛。不惋惜自己会长大，也不想回到过去，不想一直待在学校——想工作，想向前走，想走到没走过的地方，想经历还没经历过的事情，不要软弱，不要留恋，不要自怜。麻烦就是挑战，international的麻烦就是international的挑战，能在各种挑战中享受，才算成熟。毛主席说的：“与天斗其乐无穷，与地斗其乐无穷，与人斗其乐无穷。”——所有人类都是这么斗着斗着生存过来的。所谓生活就一个字：enjoy。享受苦享受乐，享受失望享受惊喜。感谢上帝让我来这人世一遭，让我有机会up有机会down，让我能学会哭着笑着付出真心。

所以说起来，其实难道我是在享受自虐？？？？-_-|||
ok吧ok……拔出塞子，放出脑子里进的水。
It’s my life

《醉拳》
我颠颠又倒倒好比浪涛
有万种的委屈我付之一笑
我一下低我一下高
摇摇晃晃不肯倒
酒里乾坤我最知道

江湖中闯名号从来不用刀
千斤的重担我一肩挑
不喊冤也不求饶
对情谊我肯弯腰
醉中仙好汉一条

莫说狂狂人心存厚道
莫笑痴因痴心难找
莫怕醉醉过海阔天高
且狂且痴且醉趁年少

画海

天与地之间，我展开无尽的画布。

我用豪迈与温柔，咆哮与低吟，爱与恨，笑与泪混杂成变换的色彩，融入和天空一样的湛蓝，将画布涂满。
我为你缀上多姿的繁船和游动的生命，赋予你百万尺的深沉，千万米的广阔，亿万年的智慧。
我称你作“海”。

我令风止。
于是海眯起眼安静地等待，用小小的浪在海堤上敲击出一阵阵沉沉的心跳，如同不紧不慢的鼓者，如同懒洋洋的猫。

我令风起。
于是海开始轻轻地微笑，低低地呢喃，快乐地歌唱，在明亮的阳光中泛起流动的光，漾起追逐的浪花，如同灯光下的舞，如同情人的歌。

我令风狂。
于是海令人颤栗地咆哮，卷起滔天的黑色巨浪，掀翻渺小的船只，散发出吞天噬地的嚣张，如同森林之王的威严，如同奥林匹斯的宙斯的怒火。

我赋予你的色彩令你神秘，
我赋予你的广阔令你宽容，
我赋予你的深度令你莫测，
我赋予你的永恒令你智慧。

可是，我将你画得太大，大得不能让平凡的人看到你的全部。
所以我将你放在人的心中，让每个人自己拥有自己的海。

海如心，心如海。

转载From Lily——爱是种感性的理性

爱是什么？

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

爱不是婉转缱绻的情歌
爱不是温柔缠绵的笔触
爱不是炽烈燃烧的火焰
爱不是耳目生新的春风

爱是一种状态
内敛 自律
而又坚定 执着
爱是一种信仰
真诚 平静
而又谦恭 慈厚

甚至掏出心来的表白
也显得那样的功利
甚至海誓山盟的宣言
也显得那样的浅薄

默默而深沉的爱着
这是种感性的理性
就像落叶遇上流水
就像和风吹满枝桠
不是你 爱不爱我
而是我 愿不愿意

Lily's words: 转过来给一个朋友看的，希望你能记住我的话。过好自己的人生，为了真正关心自己的人好好的过下去，为了在世界的一角等着你的他好好的过下去。会有别离，也许此生陌路，但是记住：请珍重自己。

MV's

Interesting music all over the world :)

Ninna Nanna (Italian)



It's the time to disco (Indian)

Shemale MV

Karn, you are from a really really amazing country...

BEAT IT!

没有路可以退，没有坎不能跨，没有路不能踩出来，没有人不能自己站着。

懒得回头。

想挑战我的耐力，只管来好了。莫斯科不相信眼泪，我他妈的连莫斯科都懒得相信，只相信我自己。到世界末日我都可以笑得比太阳灿烂。

No one wants to be defeated
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right

Michael Jackson死得太可惜了，爱死他的Beat it

Michael Jackson - Beat It
Uploaded by manon42. - Explore more music videos.

About Relationship

I believe in love, believe in its sweet and bitter taste, as well as the happiness and pains it brings. I appreciate it, treasure it, but I don't trust it alone, as I don't really trust any similar emotional feeling or passion. As an engineer, I'm too realistic to trust things based on nothing, e.g. the relationship without a future. Maybe you'd say I'm too pessimistic, "Future is made by human, " you'd say, "let's try, and give each other a chance."

But trust me, being rejected outside the door is painful, yet expelled out of the room is torture...it's not worthy for anyone to taste and suffer from. I did once so proudly believe that I could be strong enough to control the worldly passion, but I was wrong. I became so much into it even though I had understood how hopeless and futureless it was, and it hurt when it was gone.

This is the first time I speak so much about "love" since my last relationship (and the first one) ended, for there are some reasons that force me to face it. I'm not complaining though, since I have to do this sooner or later. Some friends doubt if I was really serious with that relationship, since I had known it would lead to nothing since the very beginning. Well, I won't excuse myself with craps as "Love is not reasonable" or "it disturbs my logical and rational thinking"...the truth is, I was too proud and adventurous and I told myself, "I know the possibility is low, but why not giving myself a chance? Let's see if we can make it." So then I tried, and wasn't able to release myself from it.

So being more rational, or coward, I think I would start the journey of love only when I see my destination. If the possibility of a happy ending is low, then the less we are into it, the less we are hurt. I won't play around because of vanity, impulses, enjoyment or sympathy, and I will accept the hatred I deserve for saying "let's just stop here and let's just be normal friends", since I know how this hurts.

But still, yes, that is what I mean to say.

I thought I would never write the words above in the blog since they are too personal and worthless for anyone to read... but this is the answer to a recent question from a really dear friend...:'(